Day 16: We Need You to be Fully You

Her heart squeezed tight as she stepped out of the silver Honda after the six hour drive. She stretched her legs and willed her heart to stretch too, but felt the familiar anxiety pinch it tight.  She was a newlywed arriving at the in-laws for the next family wedding, the next big event after hers.


She looked toward the family home and wondered what cloud of stress engulfed the family just through that front door. Without meaning to, she gulped the stress down tight.

Through the door and after the warm kisses she picked up an apron, tying the strings tight around her waist.  Then her blond eyebrows lifted and her lips forced the cheery, “So, what can I do to help?”


She directed her question at her father-in-law chopping peppers at the kitchen island.


The knife slowed its downward rock onto the wood cutting board until it stopped and he waved her over to his side, “Stephanie, honestly, what we need most is for you to be fully you. We need Stephanie. We need you.”  He went back to slicing the red pepper, slow and even and didn’t notice how her breath had begun to slow too.


She had been invited to come alive, invited to become Real and bring her gift for leaving beauty in her wake.


She had offered her hands empty and he had asked for her heart full.


And this, dear one, is what I hear too.


Our Father invites us to come fully alive, to bring our full heart to this new adventure.



We are invited to bring our gifts and words and love into a God-starved world  and open our hands to serve Jesus to the searching.


And yes, I know, if you are like me you are looking at your meager lunch, those slivers of fish, those seemingly insufficient barley loaves and wondering how it could possibly be enough.  Your time is scrunched, your words feel anemic, your life has been broken and rebroken and those talents you have? You sometimes desire to grasp the shovel and bury them deep. But remember, friend, He knows how to bless brokenness. He knows how to multiply what lies small in your hands.



And you, my friend, you are enough and your heart, fully alive, is needed right here, right now in this zipcode.


The God-hungry are waiting for you to come alive, to risk opening your heart and sharing the Bread in your hands.


God calls us to stop hiding, to stop dominating, to trust him, and to offer our true selves. He wants us to bring to bear the weight of our lives and all that He has given to us, worked into us, and offer it to our world.”

John and Staci Eldredge, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul.


And this is her poem, my sister, the one who swings her heart open wide.



heart shimmering on skin

bursting from uncontained laughter

head back


Announce your presence:

shutters blown open.

Santa Ana winds whip mystery


scent of freshly baked bread

still warm.

If you have a bit more time, check out my sister Stephanie’s story on re.write magazine this month found here: Issue #19. And don’t miss learning about her beautiful non-profit, Unchained, raising a new generation of abolitionists.


Thank you to Cate Catani Robertson and Katherine Birkbeck Photography.  Congratulations and thank you for sharing your gift: Gorgeous.


We’re on a 31 day journey toward falling in love with our zip code. Our family just moved down five states south and are loving the warm October. Would you like to come along? Slip your email address (I’ll guard it with my life) into the CONNECT box on the front page and we’ll journey together. Start here.


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Day 1: How to Fall in Love with a Zipcode


Just this last month, the Gross’ family adopted a new zipcode, driving through the mountains of five states and landing in northern GA. You too friend? Have you moved and are still reeling a bit? Or do you live with a chronic case of discontent and wanderlust? 

We’re taking 31 days to learn to love this place we call home.

Journey with me? 


From the reading Sunday:

Proverbs 8:30-31 “Then I was constantly at his side. I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mankind.

You, dear one…you have been called to love a zipcode.


Jesus cried over one, begged Jerusalem to find life under the generous width of His wings.


He loved a rambling, hillside town.


You will too.


Dear one, even though you feel uprooted, your heart raw from grieving, begin to ask God for His love of your new town.


And these strangers who look so unfamiliar, they too are made in God’s image –great walking beings weary from the fight, who wear a mask just like you are sometimes tempted to do lately.  Don’t. Engage real.


Your new librarian fidgeting behind the great oak desk, she is His image bearer and He adores each hidden facet of her heart.  He delights in her as she sits by the window, hot coffee in hand drinking in the chirps the birds sing back and forth in the early morning.


Your kids new teachers are exhausted with overwork, underpay and under-encouragement.


And your neighbors’ doors are shut now but behind them is a tangle of heart-breaking and glorious stories waiting to be known and honored and loved.


And He…He is waiting to walk through those doors holding your hand.  Through You the King comes. You push open the door and the Light of the world glides in, bringing waves of Resurrection with Him.


Cause dear one, this move is about you, but mostly it’s not.  He moves love-bearers around the world to bring Kingdom life, His pounding, loving, grieving heart for the world zipped into their suitcases.


“Go ye therefore”always requires us to pack, exchange zipcodes and suddenly friend, whether you meant it or not, you are smack dab living in the center of the Great Commission and there are hearts here just waiting for the seed God wants to plant…seeds you carry in your pocket.

by Summer Gross

And you, friend, how do you choose to love your town?

Do you have a friend who has recently moved or who struggles with where they’re planted? Consider sending this series to their inbox or facebook it to encourage all your newly transplanted friends.

Want more? Remember him?  How easy it can sometimes be to fling seeds?

Join the journey? Submit your email in the CONNECT box on the right hand side of the front page. Don’t worry…it’s safe with me.


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Day 34, Finishing Well: Maundy Thursday

Candles flickered on the Passover table,
sending long shadows bouncing around the room.


Scattered across the table

the unleavened bread crumbs,
bitter herbs, figs piled high
wine in goblets half-drunk,
salt water, eggs and

the lamb.

God’s faithfulness remembered and retold,

new story told silently.

“Show, don’t tell,” and He did.

Advice that stuck from poetry class.


The small crowd around the table pressed in expectant as Jesus rose.

They had learned to watch Him close,

those who left nets and tangled lives, family and known futures.

They were the utterly captivated.


And Jesus loved his disciples to the end.


He followed through, race ending, chest puffed out to catch the finish line, heart exposed
and vulnerable.


He finished well.


How do you love silent in front of the guilty accusing?

How do you carry a bulky cross, drag with love your death?

How do you die with forgiveness for the revilers on your lips?

How do you love, finish well when you are finished, laid bare?


Unafraid of whispers,

he stripped off clothes,

dressed the part of the unnamed slave,

towel tight around waist,

knelt down in the dust,

picked up the feet of fellow journeyers.


Today these feet were crusted with miles

the long anxious trail to Jerusalem,

the dust of the gate-entering hosanna dance,

the donkey’s left gifts,

first century life smeared, then baked on.


He picked each chosen foot up, caressed the outer mess, the inner sinful chaos, washing, refreshing, toweling the embarrassed.



The humble teach humility,

expose the caked-on fallen earth

lead us to repentance with kindness,

all while on their knees.


He invites us to follow, always to follow:

To strip off the put-on life,

to wrap the towel of identity “child of God” tight around our waist,

do what we see our Savior Brother did,

to chaffe the knees before those covered with the pain of unhealed earth,

crusted with the inner and outer spray of sin.


To love, to wash,

to always finish well.


To kneel with honor,

to wash and then towel off the image of God marred.


Summer Gross

Want more?  Maundy Thursday Sermon “Love Big”: click here.

painting: ford maddox brown

This is a part of Cross-Shaped Evangelism series.  Click here for more.

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Day 33: Captivated people Captivate

You know the moment.  A crowded city square and you are walking through the cafe.  In front of you is a woman sitting at a small marble table, fork suspended, looking beyond you and to the right with this big, ecstatic smile.  A voyageur viewing joy.  Her eyes are shining, a giggle starting to erupt.


And you? You can’t.  help.  but.  look.


People who are captivated, draw others to be captivated.

So today, I’m inspired to clear-cut productivity in order to get captivated by Jesus again.  I will push aside the lists and the crammed schedule and raise my hands up to my mouth full of living water…to drink Presence…and be full on eyes-shining delighted with Jesus.


“If we wish to quench our thirst, we must lay aside books which explain thirst and take a drink.”  Jean Pierre de Caussade,  Abandonment to Divine Providence


Summer Gross

This post is a part of the cross-shaped evangelism series.  Locate more here…or don’t and go
on a wild-goose chase for Jesus.

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Day 32: Vulnerability Is Key

It wasn’t until she chucked the seventh time yesterday that I thought to reach for the healing oil.  (Aren’t you glad you are reading here today?) And now I can feel it, the guilty mom/priest feeling rising up.  Yes, I’m a female Anglican priest and yes, I stash healing oil in my trendy red and white striped clutch which I carry everywhere I go.  You never know when someone may need the power of God and besides, I lose things all the time, better keep the bishop’s blessed best super close.


Then, shocker.  After the prayer? Healing.  Then today, Xavier too, after the prayer, healing flooded in and then came perkiness and asking for food.  Sound familiar?  (Below? Madeline nursing Xavier, keeping him company reading to him.  So proud of you baby girl!)


But, the honest truth is that I waited…I waited to come before the power of the Universe who has promised to be always present.  I waited for that which should always be first…prayer!


The truth is that God’s healing shocks me. every. time.  And it just shouldn’t. Ask my grandpa about his dad’s conversion, he would have preached to you about healings.  His mother? Healings.  I have a row of books upstairs literally about family healings…but the question is, why did I get passed over with the faith gene?

I’m getting vulnerable here and this is where my aha moment cross-pollinates with the subject of good news bringing. My own faith struggles can be a strange sort of opening for those around me struggling toward faith.  When we present a perfect image, people smell out a mask.  Authenticity is often a bigger door to Christ for our unbelieving friends than anything that was typed into an apologetics book. (I’m sorry, Josh McDowell).

We can share the switchbacks of our own faith journey while still pointing to the Way, the Truth and the Life.  Our mess takes nothing away from His Perfection.


Vulnerability is absolutely key to becoming a safe person to journey with.


Summer Gross

Hi friend.  So thankful you are here journeying with me.

This is a part of the series: cross-shaped evangelism. You can find the rest here.

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Day 31: Threshold 3, Open to Change

We’ve been studying this book and learning from the five thresholds a person goes through to faith.  Today?  Openess to change. (And beware: Two kids sick, no time to edit.  This should be fun.  No seriously… kind of like when my mom and sister and I get tired and giggly.)


Change is so impossibly hard.  Jesus invites us to look a little more like Him and we squirm inside dead skin He’s calling us to shed.  Because honestly, do I really want to change?


And you friend, what do you do when you hear the call to change?


When I feel God stretching me past comfort,  I take out my journal.  I write scriptures and lists and letters to God.  I struggle and complain and beg the Holy Spirit to infuse me with even the hankering to change.  Left to myself, I don’t even have the desire to desire God’s work.  So, this is what I’ve learned:   Admit weakness.  Then ask and don’t mask it.  (And yup, that kind of rhymed…and I’m not even apologizing…two kids sick and all that.)


I’ve learned to lean hard into God. 


I admit I have too much Eve in my blood.  And then, I give Him the responsibility to do the hard work through the struggle.  It’s that whole clay in God’s hand thing: moldability.

What am I really doing? I’m just getting better at laying still on the wheel.  No more striving alone.


It took me years to learn that, years of trying to perform for God, trying to people-please the Holy (Hah!). I spent years afraid of what it meant about me that I couldn’t wriggle out of the cocoon of sin or fear or greed myself.  Ahhh, but then I was good at taking the credit when I did.  And yup, you guessed it: pride, the ugly side of striving.


These verses taught me to lean hard, to give Him the responsibility.


Ezekiel 36: 25-27  I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.


And O God, You are our only help.


And our “persons” on a journey to Jesus? There is an intense battle raging (both in their hearts and in the heavenlies) between their old lifestyle and the new, their old worldview and this unclear, uncertain following of Jesus thing.  This may be the hardest threshold yet…because really the familiar feels so, well comfortable.


New makes us anxious.  Peaceful surrender demands trust and for our person, trust has not yet been built.

Out of all five thresholds, becoming genuinely open to change is often the most difficult to overcome.  Change is beautiful and horrific after all…

Remember the rich young ruler (Mark 10)? This guy wants to hang out with Jesus and follow him around. He seems to have trusted Jesus (threshold one) and came to Jesus with real questions and curiosity (threshold two). He was ready for anything. “Come on, Jesus. Give me your best shot.” But when Jesus took it deeper to see if he was open to a real change in his life (in his case rethinking his relationship to money by selling all his possessions and giving everything to the poor), this trusting, curious young man walked away sad. Turns out He was not as open as he thought he was.” (From I Once Was Lost: What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus, pg 69,70)


At this time we need good old-fashioned staying power.  Perseverance. And then we need heaps of patience, and wide open empathy (because we struggle toward transformation too).


And they, what do they need?  They need the knowledge that we will love and keep loving regardless of outcome.  And how do we learn that kind of love?


Straight from the Source: from nails and a cross.


Summer Gross

These fabulous photos found here.

Hi friends! This post is part of a series called cross-shaped evangelism.  If you have a desire to catch up, please click here.

Wanna hear more?  Insert your email into the Connect box to the right and push “subscribe.”  We’ll get more thirsty for God together…regular- like. (And yes, I know, I’m in rare form…two kids sick on a Sunday while juggling prayer books and Lenten Series and two precious blond heads on my lap… and all that.  Thank God for a truly amazing husband, dad and partner in ministry!)

Thankful with Ann Voskamp where you can find here.

1. thankful for this encouragement: if you are a mama and some type of artist, read, mark, inwardly digest this.

2. my precious girl woke up perky after an entire grueling day of stomach flu.  so thankful.

3. Xavier’s fever broke and is in full on cuddly mode…what mom doesn’t adore cuddle time?

4. a lemon, a sprig of rosemary and lavender/chamomile oil drops simmering on my stove for days.  A bit of loveliness in a difficult day yesterday.

5. This wonderful man I get to have as a husband and father of my children.  So patient and kind in the midst of the sickness.

6. 5 weeks of Ann Voskamp’s video series and how it transformed hearts this Lent.

7. The joy of scripture and Beth Moore’s teaching here that is echoing hope, besides she makes me laugh out loud.

8. The gift of seeing my mama and sister this weekend and watching Stephanie’s fashion show raising awareness for International Justice Mission.  If you are in Columbus, OH check it out here.  Can. not. wait!

Also linking with the wise Laura @ The Wellspring here and Jen, from Findingheaventoday who encourages the heck out of all around her.  Thank you beautiful girls for the gift of being a part of your community!





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Day 30: Sabbath Rest

From Henri Nouwen:

“The literal translation of the words ‘pray always’ is ‘come to rest.’


The Greek word for rest is hesychia, and hesychasm is the term which refers to the spirituality of the desert. A hesychast is a man or a woman who seeks solitude and silence as the ways to unceasing prayer. The prayer of the hesychasts is a prayer of rest. This rest, however, has little to do with the absense of conflict or pain. It is a rest in God in the midst of a very intense daily struggle.”

The Way of the Heart

because I need some true rest and ahhh, I know that I can find it best in His arms.


May your Sabbath be full of the peace that comes from laying your head against His chest and listening.

And a gentle whisper comes to my spirit…  How can we lead others to His love when we so rarely find it ourselves?

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Day 28: A Life Inviting Curiosity by Brian Wolthuis

Hi Friends! In “I Once Was Lost” (the evangelism book I wish I had 10 years ago, Christianity Today’s review here) Don Everts and Doug Schaupp, two Intervarsity staffers, teach us about five thresholds an unbelieving friend walks through on their path to Christ.  In the second threshold “from complacency to curiosity”  they invite us first, to listen to unbeliever’s questions, second, to share answers in balance to the level of their interest, third, to draw them straight to Jesus and now, fourth, live a life inviting curiosity. 


And this, friends, is the story I was hoping you could hear.  A huge thank you to Brian for sharing the good news bearing vision he’s caught!


Today I’m introducing the Anglican Deacon Brian Wolthuis and his story of on-the-ground Kingdom construction work.  This is good news at its catchy best and is literally changing neighborhoods in Holland, MI.  Renovation resurrection is occurring one house at a time, one landscape at a time, one commercial property, one heart at a time.  Out of  this service-based good news a church plant is blooming organically.  It is relationship building right alongside drywall nailing and siding painting already 10 years strong.  Brian and 360, the nonprofit he leads, shows us how.  Before leaving, check out his website here and find out ways that you can be a part. 


Now from Brian:


What if our life told a better story than our mouth?


What if the tangible effects of blessing emanating from our Christian body was powerful, creative, and magnetic?



What might our churches look like if proclaiming the gospel was a communal, lived call (in addition to an individual, spoken one)?— Would we need evangelism rallies and campaigns if our lives were overflowing with kindness and service to those around?  What if those around us would be able to get a glimpse of our Father and what his family is like–by the way we loved, served, listened, created–within our actual communities?


The early church experienced a kind of growth, in the book of Acts, which many of us long to see.  Evangelism proclamation was a kind-of “reporting” of what people saw, and heard God doing–the transformation that Christ was birthing, which caused a literal landslide of people being added to their number daily…many wanted to become part of that family!  No recruiting or evangelistic tracts needed.  Their apologetic was their life together, a demonstration of the Kingdom come.  The body of Christ alive and well, living & serving together, is winsome and attractive!  It powerfully points to the Kindness and Grace of our God—and draws those whose hearts are ready.



For the last 10 years my family and some friends have been living, serving, and staying within our neighborhood with the hope and prayer of demonstrating the Gospel with our lives and service to others.  A Missional community some call it–Incarnation if you will–the incarnation of our lives (filled with the Grace and Spirit of God) into our actual community.  From what I can tell, it is somewhat like St. Patrick and the Celtic pattern of living among, alongside.


Our experience has been that the practical service we do (construction, farming, landscaping,  painting)—basically just helping neighbors…is prime opportunity/context for relationship with almost everyone.   These “neutral” contexts and projects are safe for those who are indifferent (sometimes even hostile) towards the church.  They build many bridges.  In serving others and creatively collaborating for the betterment of our city, we collect around a common goal and are amazed at the conversations, questions, partnerships, and gifts that arise when we relax and serve together.



I believe that our western world is (for the most part) not in need of more Gospel information…but in need of witnessing the Gospel as a demonstration of communal life of love and witness.  Our culture is crying out for examples of healthy families, for authenticity, to see lives transformed, to become part of a community that lives what they believe, together.  Our world is saturated with good ideas and information, but perhaps, too vacant of communities of integrity, love, and service.  It has been said that many will need to belong before they believe.  I tend to agree.  We are, in fact, calling people to a Way of life—the way of Christ, not just a way of right-belief.


These thoughts and questions have been part of our wrestling and imagination over the last 10 years as we have sought to faithfully “be” the church in our place…instead of “doing” church.  Interestingly, we are just beginning to plant a Eucharistic congregation…after years of listening, community building, and serving together.

So, I ask:  Do our neighborhoods and cities consider us a gift—a creative and generative community of kindness and service?  What are we communicating about our God and His good news by the kind of neighbor, friend, co-worker we are?


The question is, am I good news?

This is part of our series: cross shaped evangelism.  Catch the rest here.

Do you have a story of good news bearing you would like to tell?  Fill out the rectangle to the right, “submit your work.”  The Body of Christ always needs en-couraging. 

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Day 26: Wedding Favors, Eucharist with Love

She walked down the aisle shining, her heart naked, shimmering, luminous… and he, forgetting to wait, forgetting to stand still…mesmerized, walked out to greet her.

The universe is not kind this side of Eden and it makes cripples of all God’s children.

And I have seen how pain cripples like arthritis, gnarled hands shut tight around love…but not here.

These two have fought like the newly uncocooned, beating their wings to dry them…the hard work of the free..   Hands free of everything but Love Himself.

And those who have been broken, then splinted and healed learn how not to be stingy with God.

And I was a witness.

I watched them etch vows into the face of the universe.

I watched her throw her head back in laughter so that her dress glimmered around the rough cobblestones.

And I watched as she broke off pieces of the bread Gabe had gone just minutes ago to the bakery to buy.  Round.  Golden.  Fresh.

The pastor blessed, broke and invited and then Stephanie and Matt turned around and offered Jesus first to me and then to 249 more.

I circled around and stood witness just to the side and behind, full of the mystery and watching each row empty, eager, walk single file with hands open.

I witnessed the empty hands held out, eyes opened wide.

Then, I caught my breath.  


Stephanie’s words of “the Body of Christ, the bread of heaven” somewhere morphed and I started seeing tears streaming, lips mouthing “I love you, too.”


She was handing out Jesus with love.


I love you, bread torn and then the tears would flow…acceptance at the altar.  Spirit spreading, Love broken and distributed.  250 people weeping thanks, because Love had come near and they were taking Him in.


And isn’t that how love slides down best?  We the broken, feeding the broken with pieces of He who was broken for us.  This is when humility surges and love breaks open all of our hearts, ready to receive.


These were the ones they both had cultivated community with, a single file of the broken, as we all are, those on all places of the Journey.


Some struggled with the mystery and sat back down only to jump back up when the line got short.  No one wanted to be left outside of this circle of love, the bread and wine given meaning.  They had made the good news truly good through years of love.


And this was a 1 Corinthians 13 sermon I could see (and here is another, you’ve got to check out this engagement story).  The love chapter spun out into pictures and I finally understood: True ministry is Jesus handed out, an overflow of love.


 Summer Gross

Most pictures taken by the spectacular Deb Howard.  Do check her out here!

This is a part of the cross-shaped evangelism series.  To catch up, press here.

If you want to follow along with this thirsty one, put your email in the connect box to the right and push subscribe.  It is always a privilege to journey with you. 

Linking with the insightful Laura Boggess here.

And always counting Thanks with Ann Voskamp here.

1. how he tenderly sat with me in my exhaustion

2. son, curled up beside me

3. how his eyes lit up as he saw me watching from the stands

4. friends and the hard work of living life out together

5.the rain pattering on window sill, putting me to sleep, melting the snow

6. daughter pointing out first signs of crocus

7. them all begging for more scripture songs.  so thankful.

8. gifts timed right

9. a whole slew of new gift counters at my church

10. the gift of a marriage grown patient and kind

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Day 24: The Key to my Conversion and Possibly Theirs?

There were a few years around college I couldn’t stomach Paul.  He had been thrown into my face too many times.  And I couldn’t hear the Old Testament without questions about God’s goodness staring at me.  But, Jesus?  I was entranced.  Not the saccharine sweet  two-dimensional Jesus of the flannel graph, I was captivated by counter-cultural Jesus, pausing for long conversations over an ancient well with an unfaithful woman.  I was drawn by the Jesus tearing down the religious structure with a whip focused on freeing people.


Jesus ran his fingers over the soft wisps reaching for the sun, eating kernels of grain on the Sabbath…because he was hungry, imagine that. He gave order to the chaos of rules and extra laws about rules like He did at Creation so long ago, not with violence, but piercing truth.  I was struck by the clarity with which He spoke into the tangled web of lies produced by human nature 30AD.  Where does that come from?  I needed that kind of clarity. This was wisdom that shakes the foundations of the world over and over so that even Ghandi developed his India-liberating philosophy based on His person.

Those days, I was easily distracted by the hypocritical nature of His children and confused by the towers of impossible theology, but if I kept my eyes locked into His, the miraculous found a home inside me.  I wanted to gaze, to read, to gaze again, curl up and live there.


Eventually I made peace with Paul.  He’s quite stunning, actually.  I finally made friends with this shockingly humble Christ-pointer who pieced together a brilliant quilt of mystery with his inspired words. And the Old Testament? I read for God glimpses, trying to discern hints of Jesus threaded through.


I’ve learn to read kneeling before the One who proves Himself faithful over and over story to shining story.


And when I preach?  Each time, I hear God whisper, whatever you do, point to Jesus.


When the curious begin to unfurl, hunger for Light, this is what we can water them with, pure unadulterated Jesus straight from the gospel.  Encourage them to discover Jesus for themselves, push past the stereotypes.  There they may be shocked to find not the saccharine Jesus of tired Sunday school songs, but their Guide to a new adventure: the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Summer Gross

Hi friend.  Welcome.  We’re in the middle of a series for Lent called Cross-shaped Evangelism.  If you want more, do click here.  We are in the middle of a conversation about the five thresholds from this book and now, are chatting through this threshold.  I know it will all make sense in just a few clicks! Tomorrow, deep breaths and Sabbath.


Journey with me the rest of the way? Type your email in the Connect box to the right and hit “subscribe.”  Daily Inspiration (through Lent, otherwise just three days a week) pointing to Jesus.

I found the Wise Men Still Seek Him button from this site via Pinterest.


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