Everyday just under the surface lies a low-grade growl of shame: “You haven’t done enough.” Do you have his voice on repetition as well? Not enough vegetables on the table. Not enough exercise. Not enough blank.
Shame comes in for an easy landing when I’ve blown up angry, seen his sweet heart shrivel. It pounces after the kids walk away, pull open the glass school door. I’ve made breakfast, the oatmeal with the hot apples, but have forgotten to feed their souls.
I who say I’m on a quest to know His Presence vibrating wildly through every minute live bowed low to it.
And do you know where shame gets loudest, my friends? Here. I had hopes for my morning, for the prayer and the quiet and the pulling out that big Bible to find life but that little one wakes up with an early morning whine and an empty belly. That chair sits empty. Again.
It’s time to rebel. It’s time for a Shame-less Revolution, a Shame-less Devotion. The thirst for living water never goes away but it’s time to release the hunt for the well from the frustration. It’s time to no longer pretend that life is not the blur of the kids and the carpool, the chores, the volunteering, the deadlines, the homework, the dinner, the bedtime and the exhausted sigh.
We all fly through life in a blur slightly dizzy.
We live smeared without a Center.
Remember ballet class and learning how to turn to avoid dizziness? No, I didn’t have dance class either, but somehow I learned this. When turning, we fix our eyes on a clock, on a pole, something…and keep fixing our eyes there turn after turn.
It’s called spotting and this is what I want. I want Jesus clear when all else blurs.
I want to release devotion from early morning shame and on those hard days, spot on Jesus, find ways to draw close throughout the day.
Susanna Wesley, John Wesley’s mama, used to throw her apron over her head for a bit of prayer here or there. I don’t wear an apron long enough but I think in the swirl of 16 kids, she might be packing some wisdom.
It’s time for a Shame-less Devotion for the busy…practical ways we can wriggle in close throughout our day, find the well…ways we can spot on Jesus in the midst of our daily blur.
Think I’d leave you without a practical exercise? (This is what I’ve been doing lately…join me?)
Throughout the day, fix Your eyes on Jesus, arms out, inviting.
Then, let His love enfold you. Receive.
This is going to become a new quest…this search…this spotting. Come along? Pilgrimage with me and slip your email into the CONNECT box on the front page.
And you, friend, how do you “spot” on Jesus?